To Kiss or Not to Kiss

Human Highlighter Suit Tally:  6

When greeting each other, or parting, Spaniards kiss each other on both cheeks.  This holds for men, women and children.  And they are real kisses—not the air kisses New Yorkers bestow on each other in order not to muss their lipstick.  However, they are also not the sloppy, saliva-heavy kisses of my Polish grandmother.  I find it a pleasant, warm way to start a conversation.

I am a kisser and a hugger by nature, but in the US such behaviour is not always welcome, so I often find myself turning it on and off depending on how I think it will be received.  I find that I can usually guess with relatively good accuracy whether the person I am meeting is a kisser or not.  In the US, this kissing business is a bit like sharing food at restaurants—some pass plates around liberally, assuming everything on the table is fair game, while others are appalled at the notion of a fellow diner, no matter how deep the connection, reaching across the table with a fork poised to….  I am in the former camp, and find that I prefer the company of plate-sharers at table and elsewhere.

So you would think that I would be made for Spanish kissing culture.  But it´s trickier than that.  First off, I sometimes forget where I am, and that it’s the custom here to kiss.  Twice.  And second, I think sometimes that the Spaniard I am meeting knows that Americans are not kissers, and is waiting for me to make the first move.  So we both end up hesitating, and then it gets a bit awkward.

My children are completely unaccustomed to being swooped in on and smooched by people they´ve never met.  They look surprised when newcomers embrace them like long lost cousins.  Poor things—there’s just too much adjusting going on.